Time or Courage?

Too often I tell myself I don’t have time.  I want to read that book, but I don’t have time.  I want to write that blog, but I don’t have time.  I want to make that new recipe but I don’t have time. I want to take that photography course, but I don’t have time.  I’ve noticed a common thread of things I tell myself I don’t have time to do.  They almost always have to do with creating.  I’ve been telling myself this lie for so long it just comes naturally now.  If it has to do with growth, creativity, or creating I apparently rarely have time.

Yet.

I have time to scroll Instagram.

I have time to text people about things that don’t matter.

I have time to watch another episode of Schitt's creek on Netflix.

I have time to spend money I should not at Target, again.

I’m starting to realize it's not time that I don’t have.  It's courage.  I am afraid.  I am afraid to write that blog post because what if my words are never read, or they are read and hated.  I am afraid to take that photography course because I worry I am not good enough.  I lack the courage to create because I’m afraid the outcome will be failure.  Before I have even begun the work I have already talked myself out of it because the end might not look how I think it should.  Sometimes I even stop reading a book a few chapters in before really giving it a chance because I don’t love it yet and what if I read the whole thing and think it was awful. Silly right?  

But.

I bet I’m not the only one.  I would bet there are many of us out there.  Too afraid to create the thing we want to create, or try the thing we want to try, or do the thing we want to do and are telling everyone, ourselves especially, it's because we just don’t have the time.  We have told the lie so many times it feels like the truth.  This lie is keeping us from doing what we are called to do.  The thing that we are scared to do, may be exactly what God will use.  He may use it to glorify Him,  fill our hearts, bring us joy, reach someone else.  We may fail, we may hate it.  It may not look like we thought it would.  

Still.

I don’t think we will regret it.  Maybe it isn’t about the final product, but the process.  The courage it takes to quit believing we don’t have time and face the truth that we are scared.  Once we start telling ourselves we have the time, we will find it.  It may be in a 15 minute pocket before the sun and our kiddos are awake.  It may be in the half hour after the kids' bedtime before we start that next episode.  Maybe it is during nap time while we drink that afternoon cup of coffee.  Whenever it is, I think we need to have the courage to make the time.  The world may be missing out on some wonderful gifts because we are too afraid of the process.  We need to invest in ourselves, what lights that little fire in our souls.  The dishes will be there tomorrow, the laundry will be there tomorrow, that episode will still be on Netflix, that pillow will still be at target, Instagram will still be there, our friend will understand if we don’t text back right away.  

Is there something you want to start but haven’t yet? Encouragement is one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other as we stop believing the lies and take the next step of courage.  Here’s to making the time, friend!